First of all, congratulations. We don’t know how you’ve managed it. We’re sorry to be the ones bringing an end to your state of blissful ignorance.
This is her own Photoshop handiwork, not ours
Her (not definitely self-authored) IMDb profile describes her as “a pop culture sensation” and “one of the most popular personalities in in Cyberspace… with a record breaking 1.4 million [Myspace] friends”.
If you had a lot of time on your hands about six years ago you might have caught her “bisexual-themed dating show” A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila on MTV.
Since then, Tila had largely remained out of the spotlight (save for one particularly disastrous performance at the 2010 Gathering of the Juggalos).
However, the veteran “social media celebrity” has finally found a way to put the name Tila Tequila back where it belongs: in the pages of gossip magazines, and as the butt of cheap jokes on websites like this one.
On Monday 9th December, Tila posted a link on her Facebook page (Myspace is so 2005) to a blog post entitled Why I Sympathize With Hitler Part 1: True History Unveiled.
As you have probably already guessed, the whole thing is both massively offensive and completely bonkers.
"Here is a man who was not a coward, stood up for his country in a DESPERATE TIME OF NEED (unlike all of our cowardly leaders)[…] he lost the war AND was painted out to be a monster after his death. This is what breaks my heart."
"I understand the Jewish people went through some shit too, but hey guess what?? SO DID THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE WHO SUFFERED IN EVERY SINGLE WAR THAT TOOK PLACE! You were NOT the only ones!"
Apparently, Tila also has a new single dropping - in which she refers to herself as ‘Hitila’ and sings lyrics including “Worldwide Genocide blame it on the Jews”. Lovely.
Either way, this is a new low for her. Before now we didn’t even believe such a thing was possible.
You’d think people would have got used to the idea of vegetarianism by now. It’s really not a difficult concept to grasp. You don’t eat meat and fish; you do eat, uh, everything else basically.
But still the questions come. The ridiculous, socially-inappropriate questions. And the assertions so stupid you find it hard to believe they’re being spoken by a real, human adult.
In an attempt to prevent you completely losing the will to live, we’ve made a list of 18 stupid things all vegetarians will hear at some point in their lives, along with recommendations of how to respond the next time you’re confronted with such dull-witted idiocy.
Meat and fish aren’t the only sources of protein and if you don’t know that you’re a fool.
Compassion for animals? How evil.
"I hate animals so much I don’t even want them in my mouth" was the lie one friend thought up, to stop people being so fucking repetitive.
Yes. I don’t want my mum to die and I do like money.
Because it’s BACON, not a vital organ I’m electing to go without.
Also, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I’d never know ‘cause I wouldn’t eat the filthy motherfucker. There’s that.
Yes. But not for the reason you think.
Why is is ALWAYS stuffed pepper. Stop stuffing peppers.
Oh no you’ve found a loophole to my logic! I must eat burgers until I explode!
Yes, I am a Vegslim.
Not really. I can cope with the idea that people have different opinions to me. I do hate you for being a fucking tedious bore though.
Actually, no, I hate you because you’re made of meat.
Pretty much. Sod the baby chickens. Actually, the only truly ethical stance is veganism, then self-euthanisation. But, you know, stuff to do.
Er.. You don’t need meat to stay healthy.
Thank you, mum.
No, we evolved to be omnivores so we can survive on pretty much anything.
I also allow my cat to shit in a tray in the kitchen. As you may be able to tell, we abide by different life rules.
No. C’mon, it’s not that hard. There’s loads of great vegetarian food that’s not a shit version of something else. Pizza, for example, one of the most popular foods in the world.
Well… mainly I shouldn’t eat them because they’re not as delicious as cheese or a pizza. Food that’s a fake version of something else generally isn’t a great idea.
But ethically it’s no more dubious than accusing someone eating a gingerbread man of cannibalism.
Ah, reductio ad Hitlerum.
Here’s ever-living pop chameleon David Bowie performing set on Saturday Night Live in 1979.
Initially we thought Bowie had grabbed two up-and-coming performance artists, put them on TV and stole their schtick, while relegating them to the position of backing singers.
Turns out, that was not the case.
Legendary countertenor Nomi was known for his wide vocal range and flamboyant stage persona.
Turns out that he loved Bowie’s plastic tuxedo so much that he commissioned one of his own and wore it until his death in 1983.
Know who else liked it? Only Lady Gaga.
Cabaret singer and drag artist Arias later became heavily involved in the 1980s New York performance art scene.
He’s still around and doing stuff - you might have caught him in Big Top Pee-wee (1988).
No idea, but it’s scary, right? The dog is no longer alive, nor was it ever.
Flamboyant judge Bruno Tonioli wouldn’t know what to do with himself.
This energetic combination of tap and acrobatics, known as ‘flash dance’, first evolved in the 1920s-1930s.
The brothers first became stars during The Harlem Renaissance, an African-American cultural movement which spanned the 1920s and early 1930s.
And that guy really knew what he was talking about.
It looks like somebody just shed their skin on a bed.
Somehow, the penis makes us particularly sad.
So what’s this zentai all about - and how is it different to Morphsuits, which is something we’ve vaguely heard of? To Wikipedia (or, if that doesn’t work, to Urbandictionary)!
Zentai (from the Japanese ゼンタイ) is a term for skin-tight garments that cover the entire body.
Thanks, Wikipedia - so it’s not a fetish thing, after all!
Image: Wikipedia. We’ve censored it, because it made us feel funny in our tum-tums.
The auction is still live, if you’re looking for that special Christmas gift.
A new, single-serving site registered under the name IsItChristmas.com has high hopes of making the advent calendar obsolete.
Sorry if we’ve ruined the surprise.
We were very excited to stumble on these great animated comics covers, by comic artist Kerry Callen.
Just lovely - look at all that water pouring down! This one’s based on a 1966 Spiderman, where he has to dig himself out of a collapsed building to save his aunt.
Zap! This is 1986’s re-imagining of Batman as a really grumpy old man, with a cool car, in a dystopian future. Like Jeremy Clarkson in a leotard.
The Justice League must battle a villain who attempts to burn out their “good luck glands”. 1960s comics, eh?
Well, okay, this one is kind of goofy, but based on the quintessential 1979 story about Iron Man’s issues with alcoholism.
We just really like this - because what’s more festive than snow and a man in a red suit on a rooftop?
Over on the Imgur frontpage, an anonymous 4chan poster has been describing an idle experiment in conditioning crows to hate each other.
So /b/ I’ve been having fun over the past few weeks and figured I’d share.
Where I work there are thousands of crows that show up every single night.
They hang around for like 4 hours at night, then take off, and show up the next night.
Was reading up on crows because fuck it, interested.
Apparently they’re smart as shit.
They recognize faces, and can form preferences in people depending on how they’re treated.
A wild idea appears.
I start trying to piss off this group of crows that hang out in the trees near work.
I throw rocks at them, and shake the tree and chase them whenever I can.
Meanwhile, the grass crows across the street, just chill by the mcdicks.
Every time I go to mcd’s, I get extra large fries, and feed the grass crows.
They start to like me, while the tree crows hate my shit.
Tree crows throw nuts and try to shit on me all the time (i dodge bird shit like I dodge wrenches now)
Grass crows still super bros, and now try to follow me when I walk into mcd’s.
I keep this up for a few more weeks, and I’m noticing a bigger divide in the crows.
Grass crows now follow me across the road to make sure I get back to work safe.
Tree crows getting more aggressive and sit on my building and wait for me to walk out.
I’ve created a great war between two formerly friendly nations.
World War Crow commences.
I am fueling it with french fries.
Crows are certainly clever enough to form a dislike for someone. What do you reckon?
Photographer Jan Kempenaer documents the extraordinary war memorials of the former Yugoslavia, built in the 1960s and 70s under the regime of president Josip Tito.
Tito’s dilemma was that he couldn’t erect statues depicting specific generals because he didn’t want to be seen showing favour to any of the region’s ethnic groups.
The result was a series of abstract monuments, made of reinforced concrete, which fell into disrepair with the fall of the Soviet Union and the Yugoslav Wars.
You see what we mean about looking like something from Alien, right?
Story via Business Insider, which also has loads more of Jan Kampenaer’s photos.