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us scotland scottish independence

What do you think about Scottish Independence? We’re having a Scotchland Postcode Referendum!

Vote now, and find out what people near you think about Scottish Independence!

them fish science polypterus

We need a new idiom, because apparently being a ‘fish out of water’ is actually not that bad

We already know from SCIENCE that if you trace all of our family trees back far enough, at some point you’ll find a fish which decided it fancied giving dry land a try.

Until recently though, exactly how the hell that ended up happening has remained a mystery.

But SCIENCE may have an answer

The polypterus is a fish that is also able to breathe air and walk on land. It looks very similar to our own aquatic ancestors.

Researchers at McGill University in Quebec, Canada raised a group of juvenile polypterus fish out of water for almost a year. They found that the landlocked creatures exhibited significant changes to both their anatomy and behaviour.

Adaptions observed included:

  • walking more effectively by placing fins closer to their bodies and lifting their heads higher
  • changes to skeleton including “a reduced contact with the skull to potentially allow greater head/neck motion”.

As far as we’re aware, the fish have not yet indicated any need or desire for bicycles.

us tom jones sex bomb

Just how *did* Tom Jones build a Sex Bomb?

The Welsh love terrorist Tom Jones loves to brag about his Sex Bomb, what actually was it?

We used the Power Of Imagination to find out!

Remember: Tom Jones is a qualified Sex Bomb technician and you SHOULD NOT try to build a Tom Jones Sex Bomb at home

us toilets the apocalypese

All your post-apocalyptic toilet problems, SOLVED!

Ever wondered how you’re going to survive the forthcoming* apocalypse and downfall of society?

How will you charge your almost entirely useless smartphone? Make toast? Heat soup/coffee/tea/lemsip? Ward off irradiated light entertainers who believe themselves to have box based mind powers?

With the APOCATOILET of course!

You’re welcome, defecating future apocalypse survivors.

If Kickstarter has taught us anything, then THIS is going to fund our custard pancake addiction well into 2022!

* If television, books, comics, computer games and all else we hold dear haven’t been lying to us.

gender them

Twitter will now tell you what the gender-split of your followers is - but how do they know?

Twitter has just opened up their analytics tool - prompting many to question how it’s identifying users’ genders

Unlike Facebook, which was notably embarrassed into expanding their gender options beyond male/female, Twitter has no option to specify gender during sign-up or in your profile (although obviously you can say it in your bio).

But in Twitter Analytics, you can see the gender split of your followers - here’s the stat for one UsVsTh3m writer:

So where is this number coming from? Well, like most things on the internet, it’s about advertising

Back in 2012 Twitter started to offer advertisers the ability to target by gender, and explained how they were doing this in their blog - as far as we can tell, this is how the numbers in the analytics package are generated.

Basically: algorithms

we’re able to understand gender by taking public signals users offer on Twitter, such as user profile names or the accounts she or he follows

They claim that they can predict gender, they claim 90% accuracy - based on tests verified by actual human people and if there’s not enough data, they don’t make assumptions

And where we can’t predict gender reliably, we don’t — and those users won’t be targetable through this feature.

Quote from this blog post.

So the number shown in Twitter Analytics is, presumably, only based on the followers where they’ve been able to make what they think is a reliable guess - they also exclude brands and other accounts that don’t represent a single individual.

Who knows what the Twitter gender detector makes of Peter Serafinowicz’s excellent Twitter bio?

So the sad truth: Twitter are letting robots guess your gender in order to try and sell you stuff

You can get all the HOT HOT STATS about you and your followers by signing into

welsh dirty talk

Contrary to what the New York Times claims, you CAN talk dirty in Welsh

When we saw the claim "you can’t talk dirty in Welsh" we were dubious. We’ve been on the internet long enough to know that - with sex stuff - where there’s a will, there’s generally a way. And invariably there is a will.

As it turns out Welsh language dirty talk is, indeed, more than possible.

If you’re that way inclined, here are some words and phrases you might want to try out:

  • Rwyf am i lyfu eich pwdin blew - I want to lick your female genitalia (literally: ‘hairy pudding’)
  • Cnychu fi galetach - Fuck me harder
  • Gorchuddiwch mi yn eich serch saim - Cover me in your love juice (literally: ‘love grease’)

It’s clear that you can talk dirty in Welsh. However, Jon Gower isn’t spouting complete malu cachu when he claims there are some difficulties.

Because the language lacks the Anglo-Saxon swears rooted of English, it has been necessary to invent more euphemistic and poetic sounding terms. The only alternatives are sterile anatomical words.

Though the jury is still out on fagina (vagina) vs. pwdin blew (‘hairy pudding’).