28 ridiculous beauty mistakes all women have made at least once
1. Attempting a bold new look, and totally messing it up, 5 minutes before you have to leave the house
Inevitably, this will happen just before a hot date. Or an important job interview.
2. Going out in public with a foundation tide-mark like a chinstrap
Because you bought completely the wrong colour, and then piled it on with a trowel.
3. Not obeying God’s final say on where your lip line should end
4. Buying an expensive new skincare product, then finding out you’re allergic to one of the ingredients
Basically, you just paid £50 to look like a burns victim.
5. Wearing full makeup to the gym in an attempt to impress the hot personal trainer
After 20 minutes on the elliptical machine you look like your face is melting off.
6. Inexpertly trying to copy a complicated multi-coloured, blended eye shadow look you saw on Pinterest
Leaving people wondering if you got your makeup done by a toddler.
7. Massively over-plucking your eyebrows
Then further emphasising the resultant spermy shape with an eyebrow pencil that is at least two shades too dark.
8. Getting an unflattering fringe cut
Because the hairdresser convinced you it would look brilliant.
9. Wearing overly sticky lip-gloss
And ending up with half of your hair stuck to your face.
10. Trying out coloured mascara because Grazia magazine says it’s the latest fashion
But it just makes people think you’ve got conjunctivitis.
11. Applying fake tan in a hurry
And ending up with one white arm, a patchy orange face, and a dodgy brown smear up your back.
12. Attempting to home wax your bikini line, and chickening out half-way through
Not only are you still hairy, now you’re also covered in sticky molten wax.
13. Poking yourself in the eye with a mascara wand
Making your blink furiously, and ruining your entire makeup look.
14. Not sticking your false eyelashes on well enough
So they start working their way off half-way through the night, and you end up with one stuck to your cheek.
15. Terrible blocky, brassy highlights
Which you achieved at home with a bottle of Sun-In Spray (maximum strength).
16. Ineptly attempting Cara Delevingne style big eyebrows
And ending up looking more like like Groucho Marx.
17. Sleeping in your makeup so you look ‘sexy’ when your boyfriend stays over
You wake up looking like an angry panda.
18. Backcombing your hair so aggressively the brush gets stuck
And losing so much hair trying to get it out that you worry you’re going to end up with a bald patch.
19. Holding on the straighteners/curling tongs for slightly too long
Until you notice the distinctive, and nauseating, smell of burnt hair…
20. Using a blunt razor to shave your bikini line
You end up with a cluster of angry razor bumps that look suspiciously like herpes sores. Not that you’d know.
21. Using too much bronzer to ‘contour’ your face
Leaving you looking less supermodel, and more ‘muddy tiger’.
22. Leaving a product on for too long, so that it works ‘extra well’
And ending up taking off a layer of skin/hair.
23. Using face powder that looks completely normal in the mirror
But inexplicably makes your face glow bright white in the photos on Facebook the next day.
24. Wearing non-waterproof mascara
In a waterproof mascara necessitating situation.
25. Purchasing a daring new shade of lipstick, which you absolutely love for a while
Until one day you catch yourself in a mirror, and realise it makes you look like you’re in drag. As someone’s grandma.
26. Generously splashing on the overly potent perfume you bought Superdrug on final clearance
Leaving you completely repellent to all other humans for at least the next 72 hours – no matter how many showers you take.
27. Getting lipstick on your teeth
Which nobody bothers tell you about. So you walk around for half the day looking like a sloppy mess.
28. Attempting to cut your own hair
You’re so embarrassed about how bad it is, you pretend to the hairdresser that someone else did it while you were passed out at a party.
Have we missed any? Tweet us and let us know!
29 Nov 2013