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them scientology

Last night ITV aired Scientology’s first ever UK TV ad

The ad was originally created to be shown during the 2014 Superbowl and features INTRIGUING IMAGES of PEOPLE and OBJECTS

It encourages us all to think about “technology and spirituality” combining

Dudes, that’s not how anagrams work!

Look, a meter is going from RISE to FALL

Is that BAD or GOOD? We don’t know what to think! TELL US WHAT TO THINK, SCIENTOLOGY.

The ad basically avoids saying anything at all specific about the religion, forcing intrigued viewers to visit the website to find out more

Our advice to anyone who fancies doing that is to also Google a few other websites about the religion as well, as it’s not exactly uncontroversial.

But, admittedly Scientology is now officially a religion in the UK

You can have a Scientology wedding now. They streamed the first one (in February) on the internet and everything!

But, however official it is, it was created by a science fiction writer in 1952

A science fiction writer who adapted it from a profitable self-help course he basically started because his science fiction wasn’t very popular.

According to founder L Ron Hubbard, the problems of the world are all to do with Xenu, an nasty-sounding alien dictator who brought billions of his people to Earth 75 million years ago, made them stand near volcanoes, then blew them up with hydrogen bombs.

You’d never guess he started as a sci-fi writer

The souls, or ‘thetans’ of these unfortunate aliens hung around here because they were bored, or something, and apparently are the cause of pretty much everything that ails you.

Luckily, Hubbard had just the way to fix it, with his brilliant new religion (and books, available now)!

If all this hasn’t convinced you to join already, here’s that ad in full:

No, that’s still not how anagrams work.

us games internet

Prove your right to stay online with our Internet Citizenship Test

Have you earned the right to stay on the web?

Featuring the greatest hits of the early internet, our Internet Citizenship Test is a finely-tuned measure of your internet cultural knowledge.

How well do you know your early internet memes? Find out now by taking the test

As you might expect, it’s stuffed full of easter eggs

For example, play it on mobile and it’s back to the glory days of WAP!


The Internet Citizenship Test - do you even meme?

them marvel avengers chris hemsworth is pretty GIFs

These Marvel GIFs prove that the Avengers casting was incredibly spot-on

Ever wondered what the Avengers actors looked like next to to the original* comic book characters?

Wonder no more: Tumblr user Syntax Bitch has made a series of GIFs of the drawn characters morphing into their human equivalents, and they’re all incredibly pretty:

We’re not entirely sure why comics Hulk is turning into movie Bruce Banner, rather than movie Hulk. Oh well. At least movie Iron Man has better facial hair.

Given that Nick Fury in the more recent comics was actually designed as Samuel L. Jackson, it’s not entirely surprising that they look alike. We are, however, glad that movie Hawkeye doesn’t look like his drawn character - yikes, that flat-top!

We’re also impressed by how much Cobie Smulders looks like Maria Hill - lovely casting work, right there.

Oh, and that reminds us - only 346 sleeps before the UK release of Age of Ultron!!!

:’(

* Ok, comics pedants, not the original characters but the versions from Marvel’s Ultimates spin-off from c. 2002.

them bbc alan titchmarsh meat

BBC bods physically assaulted a veteran broadcaster with a cut of meat! This is an outrage!

At least, we think we’ve got this right…

Poor Alan.

Via Felicity Morse

them technology socially awkward situations

Twitter launches mute button for people you secretly find annoying but can’t unfollow

That guy you went to university with, your boyfriend’s best mate, that woman from work

Or any of the other people who piss you off every time you see them pop up in your feed, but you can’t unfollow without causing massive amounts of social awkwardness.

For years (theoretically since 2006!) you’ve had to just grit your teeth and bear their asinine political commentary, boring food updates and vaguely racist ‘banter’.

No longer!

Twitter’s new ‘mute’ feature allows you to banish someone from your feed and mentions, without them knowing you’ve done it

Muting has been a popular option on Twitter owned Tweetdeck, and third-party apps, for a while now. Over the coming weeks it is being rolled out for all users on web Twitter, and on the official iPhone and Android apps.

Our fingers are itching to deal with all of these people.

them ananova old internet

Secret History Of The Internet: Do you remember when NEWS was TRANSFORMED by a CYBERBABE?

Meet Ananova, the virtual newscaster

No, no we wouldn’t, BBC.

Well, probably not, because it didn’t happen, despite the best efforts of the Press Association’s New Media division, which created Ananova in 2000.

Ananova was an entirely virtual newsreader combining then-‘cutting edge’ graphics and speech synthesis

She was 28 years old, 5 foot 8 inches tall, and loved Oasis and The Simpsons. A mixture of Posh Spice, Kylie Minogue, and Carol Vorderman, she’s basically the ideal woman, right? Here she is talking about someone’s fiancee, for some reason:

Her lovely voice reminds us of Captain Janeway from Star Trek Voyager.

Ananova was actually just one of a number of ‘cyberbabes’ (and yes, people really did use this word) from the era

Like the Glasgow record company that tried to peddle a virtual popstar called T-Babe, a lonely 18-year-old who liked “cybo-funking”.

Let’s all go CYBO-FUNKING in the Uncanny Valley!

It turned out that people weren’t as incredibly excited by ‘cyber-babes’ as early internet pioneers predicted, and Ananova quietly disappeared from her own website in 2004

By that point the site had been bought by mobile network Orange, and was mainly notable for collecting offbeat news stories - this element was merged into the main Orange website in 2010, where you can still read about naked table-tennis players and watch GIFs of animals.

Whatever will they think of next?

Since then, the ananova.com site has passed into the internet desert of weird, web hosting (or hostiong, apparently) companies hovering around a dot com grave

Anyway, we’ve decided to launch our own virtual cyber character, Cyber-Nigel

Nigel is 27, collects staples and loves to drink cyber-soup! We hope you’ll come to love him as much as we do! Would you marry him?