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them photoshop fiverr

Typically beautiful woman makes point about how unachievable typical beauty is… apparently

Esther Honig, a symmetrical journalist from Missouri, has attempted to open the world’s eyes by asking people from 40 countries to photoshop her according to that country’s beauty standards.

In reality, her project only really tells us the following:

1. Lots of people she paid forgot to do the work, and just slightly darkened the photo when they realised they’d missed their deadline

Looking at you, Vietnam.

2. Argentina like their women to come with sparkly purple backdrops

3. The Philippines get their kicks from women in suits standing in front of sunsets

4. Most users on Fiverr are really shit at Photoshop

If you want to see the full project, it is on Honig’s blog.

them rock todd rundgren music online music 1990s david bowie they might be giants

Introducing the future of online music… from 1997

PatroNet was one of the first services to try properly harnessing the true internet potential of direct contact between musicians and fans

Set up by multi-instrumentalist and prolific producer Todd Rundgren, PatroNet was a subscription service, allowing fans to download songs as he recorded them, rather than having to wait for the CD to arrive in Woolworths.

Of course this was 1997, on dial-up, so it’d take about 20 minutes to download a single song.

Rundgren was experimenting with electronic distribution as early as 1993, with an album in the short-lived CD-i format, which included interactive software allowing fans to remix songs

For $25 a year, PatroNet customers would have access to the music, but for $40 a year they’d also get CDs, news, and access to live chats with Todd - and more!

Rundgren was also a keen flash animator, (his current website is a long flash animation about his career) and PatronNet also let subscribers view specially-made animated music videos. He was like a one-man YouTube.

The launch also introduced “The Interocitor” - software running on PatroNet which make it “a multiple channel, 3D environment”

There would be live footage, recordings from tours, and the promise of personal email. Also:

Games based on Todd and Utopia’s music. Help Todd climb to the top of the pyramid to save Singring from eternal imprisonment in the glass guitar while Roger, Kasim and Willie try to stop him. Or play a game of “Concentration” using sound bites from all of Todd’s solo albums.”

And:

"The House Of Fashion, archiving the many colorful stage costumes Todd has worn throughout his career. Photos spanning Todd’s career and life. Fans will have the ability to submit and have their photos of Todd hung in the gallery as well."

Here’s some video of the Interocitor in action:

The following year that dastardly David Bowie went ONE BETTER and set up his own ISP!

PatroNet endures, although the website hasn’t been updated since 2007. BowieNet was quietly shut down in 2006 leaving disgruntled Bowie fans complaining about the service to this day.

Probably the most fan-friendly way to access songs was run by They Might Be Giants

They set up an answerphone which played songs to you when you phoned up. Pic: Veggieman

Starting in 1983, They Might Be Giant’s Dial-a-Song ran for 25 years and never cost more than a standard call to a Brooklyn phone number (which was obviously great, if you lived in New York).

Story via: @waxpancake

them guns sex toys USA

Whoever thought up this dildo-related gun safety campaign was having a very strange day…

A gun safety campaign, created by campaign group Evolve, urges parents to hide their guns better than their sex toys

Evolve, who believe that, “owning a gun is not just a right, it’s a responsibility” (because ‘Murica!!) have produced a gun safety video which shows two young boys smacking each other with dildos on one of the boy’s front lawns.

Here’s the full ad:

So, hide your guns or your children might use them as sex toys. Or something.

Via Evolve

them crime history

Meet Jonathan Wild, London’s first great criminal mastermind. And policeman.

Up until the mid-19th century pretty much anything criminal was considered a capital offence

That petty shoplifting you did when you were a kid? DEAD. Talking to someone on a mobile phone while driving? DEAD.

This bird would have been murdered by the state.

In view of this fact it’s incredible that anyone would dip their toes into criminal waters

But dip they did. And the general public was both fascinated and terrified by the baroque antics of the criminal underclass. Daily newspapers were like the Mail Online crossed with Hello Magazine.

Jonathan Wild is an extraordinary figure, becoming one of the greatest racketeers Britain has ever known

From his humble birth in 1680s Wolverhampton, Jonathan Wild moved to London and landed in a debtors’ prison

It was here he fell in with prostitute Mary Milliner (reputed as the inspiration for famed novel Moll Flanders), who introduced him to various ne’er do wells. Their relationship ended badly when he left her, and Reservoir Dogs-style, sliced off her ear to mark her as a prostitute. What a charmer.

Mr Blonde, Van Gogh, Jonathan Wild - what is it with the ears?

Thereafter he became a receiver of stolen goods and hit on the scheme of returning stuff to its original owners for a reward, rather than the more risky route of selling swag on.

Bingo! A career based on dual personalities was born

Hired as an assistant “thief-taker” by the notoriously-corrupt Under Marshall Charles Hitchen, together they embarked on a spree of double-crossing thieves and potential victims alike. It would make a smashing movie.

When Hitchen was suspended for corruption, Wild’s career went into absolute overdrive

The public considered Jonathan Wild a hero because he was the man who returned stolen goods. The public didn’t know he was also the man who commissioned the robberies in the first place. He would wait for robberies to be reported, then bring back the swag, claim the reward and arrest thieves from rival gangs. It is said that over 60 people went to the gallows on the strength of his testimony alone.

By this point he had an office in the Old Bailey and was taking a cut of every bit of criminal activity in London

Those criminals who didn’t pay up found themselves quickly arrested. It was gang warfare given the respectable face of officialdom. Wild publicly called himself “The Thief Taker General of Great Britain and Ireland” and even cheekily named his vast criminal organisation “The Office of Lost Property”!

Pic: Andy F

When he was eventually arrested it was because he was caught trying to break one of his gang members out of prison

Wild’s duplicity finally came back to bite him and many of his men testified against him.

The crowd for his execution at Tyburn (near modern-day Marble Arch in London) was enormous and tickets were even sold.

For a number of years afterwards Jonathan Wild was the inspiration for characters in popular culture of the time and, as a ripe source of satire. was often being compared with the Prime Minister.

Wild was even well-enough-known two hundred years later to be mentioned by Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle in a Sherlock Holmes story: “Napoleon of Crime” Professor Moriarty is at one point called “a latter-day Jonathan Wild.”

If you’re feeling particularly ghoulish, the notorious criminal’s skeleton is on public display at the Hunterian Museum at the Royal College of Surgeons in Lincoln’s Inn Fields

Pic: www.executedtoday.com

them Lancashire

Forget Silicon Valley, Clitheroe (Lancashire) is the REAL home of social media

Or at least, that’s what it looks like:

We are unaware of any Linkedin Boulevard or Facebook Avenue - but would like to hear from you if you have seen one.

them cool ads animals optical illusions

Optical illusion animals become completely different species when looked at upside down

This is a rather lovely ad campaign for Jeep in France, based on that old optical illusion trick of things looking different upside down. Each animals becomes something else when seen from another angle.

Doe + Seal = Deal

Hey, this portmanteau names thing works better than we thought it would!

Giraffe + Penguin = Girguin

We love the paintings he did when he lived in Tahiti

Elephant + Peacock = Elephantcock

Ok, that’s quite enough portmanteau names for now.

Exactly what this upside-down business has to do with Jeep is anyone’s guess. Perhaps they want us to flip our SUVs onto their roofs? If so, we’re on it! But we salute this beautiful work by illustrator Jérôme Gonfond and encourage you to visit his portfolio.